Transition

Transition Read Post

Transition

How does it feel to be able to get a hold of perfection? Like as though you did something incredible in your previous life, an entity was sent as a blessing. I can never comprehend the amount of joy and satisfaction that fills me up to the brim of contentment. 

But of course. 

Taken from us is a figure we have had our entire life. Not so that we are losing him completely but in a mutual, unanimous agreement among ourselves. It surprises me how the dynamics aren't affected because we understand that sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. 

In the end, we are all pursuing happiness. We will never know what the future holds but as long as our faiths are strong and the bond is unbreakable, no sweat. It's all good. (: 

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90210 & Such

90210 & Such Read Post

90210 & Such

I was searching for solitude on the comfort of my bed. With scoops of Ben & Jerry's Strawberry cheesecake, lights passing through the blindes and hot tea with slices of lemon. Not quite a complimentary meal I'm having but it works in a solitary disposition and I highly urge. Anyway, I have been re-watching the infamous Beverly Hills 90210 for we all know that is what life is all about. Was previously watching Candidly Nicole and was loving how Nicole Riche literally took her sister down for 90210 tour bus ride and got her to play the part where Dylan told Branda that he hooked up with Kat. That, for unspecific reason clicked the switch in me on how much I miss chick flicks that are factual and apodictic, so much so that it helped teenagers discover and define what life is all about because that was exactly when I learnt at a tender age- that I should only have sex with someone who belongs to me solely and to make right decisions in life. 

Dylan McKay. Oh My Prada You Guys!! I used to have a huge crush on him that I would throw myself pity parties whenever he hooks up with Brenda. It was and still is amusing how nothing in 90210's EVER cliché. 

On a whole other note, I realized I have never put myself in a place where I am not happy to have to let go of certain people. I can name all the guys I rejected because I literally don't feel them. I have never been the type that would fall in love for no reason or even date someone I don't see myself with.

We accept the kind of love we deserve. We all have a sketch of what would be ideal for us and I guess when it comes to someone whom you feel is "RIGHT" for you, you tend to be a little more emotional and clingy. I never want to be this way.

Focus. I have been trying to keep my life on track. I am always busy with work and I like that. I like how I can handle everything no matter how tedious, overloaded or packed my schedules are and I don't mean to brag about this, I still keep my body fit. My cardio is shopping & I always look fly, if nothing else. 

To end this partially sentimentle entry,

Once a diva, always a diva (;

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Living

Living Read Post

Living

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people, for home to be wherever you lied your head.

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiviness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obssesion for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzlez and dizzied me.

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people- and finally I did- on the open road. We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.

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Who, me?

Who, me? Read Post

Who, me?

 I feel like there are multifold things to be done all at once. My life's tied like chained doves but as contradicting as it sounds, I'm bound.
What's there not to like about chained doves?
I am all about discovering and indulging in life's senseless moments. Seconds before every picture- right that instance, itself, is a journey. Anna Wintour hate the word Journey.
Whenever I was drowned by the chaos of city lights,
I realized my circle of thoughts never had a period. Like a stop. 

I have a confession to make. I have always thought I'm different.  

Pink cars. Maybe the chevy that Barbie drives, depending on the time and place for coffee hour, I'd prolly think of a Porsche Carerra.

 It's is as though I am a book you happen to picked out from the library, when plenty of people think that I drove them nuts by trying to comprehend what's on my mind. 

Be with me. Why?
Just because.
I am full of myself, oh, full of secrets too.
 I have secrets I never knew myself. Probably some part of me which I never knew existed, is bargaining to conceal them perfectly. But on the other hand, secrets are surprises. And surprises are really exhilarating.Through out my whole life, I'll feed you the thoughts that goes on in my mind at 4 in the morning with the sound of your snores.

No, I hate snores as much as Anna Wintour hate Journey. 

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Safe & Sound

Safe & Sound Read Post

Safe & Sound

Night falls. 

We creep out to the rooftop at random, leaning back on our elbows admiring the stars in the sky. Picturing how our lives would be if we hadn’t found each other. Like the number of fireflies I have attempted to place in a glass jar or picking up dandelions without it’s beauty dispersing away with the wind, you are just as magnificent but I guess when everything feels like in the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive.

Is it selfish to want to keep you forever? 

Cause I love the way you made your way in.

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Caviar

Caviar Read Post

Caviar

Too caught up with reality. 

 Clearing my mind off with scented candles and dark red roses all over the bathtub, releasing my bun up hair and letting the glorious curls fall. Naked.  As i reach for a sip of mint tea, I let out a huge sigh.
  "When was the last time I did this?" 

Relaxing my nous over the flickering flames, soaking every inch in lavender essence and rose petals.

Forgo my thoughts as I inhale and exhale slowly moving myself around just trying to let my young body reach it's sexiest peak, thighs bear, slender fingers. I miss being here, firm and protected by relaxation. 

A good 30 minutes soak after I picked my silk and draped over my body.

 Fell asleep,

 still half naked and free. 

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Letter #1

Letter #1 Read Post

Letter #1

#LettersToMyFutureHusband

The morning sun hits my face, gleaming through the blinds as I wrapped myself in between big arms, seeking some kind of comfort which i found instantly. 

Bring me to Paris where we can converse in french. Carelessly laughing at the amount of efforts and number of attempts trying to talk to the locals. Bring me to Versallies so I can get inspired to sketch. Hold my hand while we argue as to why we should be leaving so soon and then grab a coffee or two. Bring me to Notre Dame so I can tell you my dreams, many of which involving you and what I've never had. Bring me to 31 Rue Cambon, so i can believe in magic but more for the serendipity of being a Parisian queen, like Mademoiselle. 

Hold my waist through the lover's bridge whilst reminiscing the day we first met. 

Bring me to the Eiffel Tower so we can breathe a fresh new start as we fall in love, all over again.

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